A Minecraft movie is already a huge success. But it could have been even better: the blockbuster simply wastes one of its greatest comedy talents.
A Minecraft movie is like a colossus weighing tons on a road to success that no one can stop. It has already left Barbie behind. And even the controversy surrounding Jason Momoa does not throw it off course. But that doesn’t mean the blockbuster doesn’t have significant flaws. The biggest is the way it treats its female stars: Jennifer Coolidge and a number of other actresses are simply wasted by the movie.
A Minecraft movie squanders Jennifer Coolidge for a lame joke
Coolidge plays the school principal Marlene in the Minecraft movie. She is newly separated and looking for romantic adventures. Momoas Garrett, known in town as the Garbage Man, throws the line “You’d like to stuff your sack in my bin!” at her feet. But it gets even flatter.
Because while Garrett, Steve (Jack Black), Henry (Sebastian Hansen), Natalie (Emma Myers) and Dawn (Danielle Brooks) are out and about in the Minecraft world, Marlene stays behind in the dreary little town of Chuglass. And one evening she runs over a villager who has escaped from the Minecraft world. Immediately she falls in love.
She is not bothered by the fact that the villager, as dictated by the Minecraft game, can only communicate with groans and grunts. In a candlelit booth, she recognizes her soul mate, while he spends hours just moaning. This joke is recycled a few times and by the end of the film, Marlene and her new love are blissfully happy.
The joke itself is not the problem: the moaning of the character and Marlene’s low standards for the male sex are enough to make you laugh. But it is the only content of Marlene’s storyline. And Marlene is not played by some unknown star, but by Jennifer Coolidge.
Jennifer Coolidge deserves better: she is not just a comedy genius
Coolidge became famous as Stifler’s mom in American Pie and remained loyal to the franchise in three more films. Many also know her as manicurist Paulette from the first two Legally Blonde films. A parody expert, she has appeared in Plump Fiction, Date Movie and Fantastic Movie. She also played a recurring role in 2 Broke Girls for six years.
But Coolidge is also known for terrific dramatic performances, such as in Bad Lieutenant, Promising Young Woman and the first two seasons of The White Lotus. The star is not only considered a comedy veteran, but also a brilliant, serious actress. Both aspects should not be wasted on a few flat jokes.
A Minecraft movie wastes several female characters.
The lavish use of female supporting characters in a Minecraft movie, however, is almost methodical. Besides Jennifer Coolidge, Danielle Brooks and Emma Myers also have little to do. Their lines are kept to a minimum, their story function tends towards zero, they are more decoration than role. In the case of Myers, this approach seems all the more cynical, especially since she is introduced as a tragic character who has to take care of her little brother alone. And then has the same significance for the story as a tapestry.
Why is that? Perhaps Jared Hess, his writers or the studio Warner Bros. didn’t trust the comedy chemistry between Jack Black and Jason Momoa enough to rely on it alone. So they needed a couple of prompters, walking distractions, humoristic targets on two legs to keep the entertainment factor high.
The Minecraft creators should have chosen a different path
It’s only natural that not all characters have the same importance. But even a movie with a lot of flat humor should give its supporting characters an agenda or at least a three-dimensional personality. Especially since it’s painfully obvious that all these characters are female. The new Jumanji remakes are a good counterexample: here, too, the comedy responsibility does not rest solely on the shoulders of Kevin Hart or Jack Black. But that doesn’t mean that Dwayne Johnson or Karen Gillan’s characters are demoted to mere cardboard characters.
The Minecraft creators should have given the characters of Coolidge, Brooks and Myers more personality – otherwise, where emotions should be sparkling, there is only a bland aftertaste of functionality. And to produce a movie for the whole family in which the female characters play no role is downright antiquated. Millions of female Minecraft fans deserve better.
